"Fire Alarms"
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writes Elvis * ...
"Elvis was staying at a short-term-rental flat in London last fall. In this building, he saw a few other people; some obviously were tourists, and some were residents. No one spoke beyond saying 'Hello.'
"On the last night, at 1:30 a.m., the fire alarm right outside his door started going off. Very loud! He put on some clothes and opened the door. No fire. A young Chinese man was standing in the small corridor, saying 'Where fire? Where fire?' Elvis said he didn't know.
"Down three flights of stairs to the ground floor, there was a fire-alarm panel with lights flashing on it. Several other people had come out by now, and we were all standing there looking at the panel and its lock.
"An elderly gentleman came down the staircase in slippers and a satin robe over a long pair of pajamas. As he came down the stairs, he started saying: 'I want you to know that this is totally unacceptable! This must be reported to the building management! I have complained, and they do nothing! It must be reported to management! It continues to happen and is completely unacceptable!' He got to the bottom of the stairs, with the horn blaring, and turned to us all. Again he shouted over the noise: 'You must report this to the management! It is unacceptable! Will you do that?' We all nodded. He turned, pulled open the panel door (it was not locked, after all) and pushed a single button. The alarm ceased. We thanked him, and he walked back upstairs,
again saying 'We must all write to management!' Elvis wished he had pushed the button first and lectured us afterwards.
"At this moment, down the staircase came a young Asian couple. They had several suitcases with them, and the woman was carrying one of those giant panda dolls you see at carnivals. It was almost as big as she was. They passed us and said 'Good night.' Elvis went back to bed wondering where they were going. ....
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* Elvis is a contributor to Pioneer Press' BB.
Pioneer Press, March 17, 2012
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