Now, Zen - by TPO

Some Great Zen Sayings (*)
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TPO

 
=> Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

=> Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

=> Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

=> The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

=> It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

=> Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

=> Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

=> Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

=> If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

=> Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

=> If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

=> Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

=> If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

=> If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

=> Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

=> Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

=> Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

=> The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

=> A closed mouth gathers no foot.

=> Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

=> There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

=> Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

=> Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

=> Never miss a good chance to shut up.

=> Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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(*) Source:
http://www.toilette-paper.com/jokes/
miscellaneous/zensarcasm.html