" CIA Director David Petraeus Resigns Over Extramarital Affair. "
by Josh Voorhes,
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DANIEL:
Well, since the trusty old "hiking the Appalachian Trail" excuse has already been burned (thanks a lot, Sanford), there was really no other choice but to come clean.
Otto:
One of the more colorful euphemisms for doing the deed.
cookindad:
It takes months to hike the Appalachian trail.
Otto:
If you're doing it right?
cookindad:
If you're doing it wrong it only takes a few minutes.
............................
Silenced:
Does the Trail really want to be hiked, though? I suppose it's important to come clean.
Gregg White:
Hm. Razor blades on the trail. Be careful, everybody.
Silenced:
Hot wax, too.
Gregg White:
Safer and a little erotic to some.
Tradecraft:
If it doesn't want to be hiked, perhaps the trespass is "legitimate." If so, then there's nothing to worry about. The trail will take care of itself.
............................
Guest:
Petraeus is a very ugly man. Which means that if he's having an affair at his age, it's all about the power. The same is true for Spitzer, who is also a very ugly man. The problem is not the sex, it's the abuse of power.
Gregg White:
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Tradecraft:
And your problem is judging people as "ugly."
jamlars:
He could give Prince Charles a run for his money.
Mitbert Strangejoy:
If he was having an affair at a different age, would it be all high-fives or something? I'm missing the age angle.
Silenced:
As an ugly man I...
*weeps*
Otto:
Look on the bright side. As an ugly man, apparently you've got power.
Silenced:
Pardon me while I go oppress the downtrodden for a while. They seem to expect it.
Wade Wilson:
HELP HELP!
I'm bein' repressed!
Otto:
If only.
Tradecraft:
You aren't "ugly," Silenced. You're a beautiful human being. Especially when you aren't oppressing the downtrodden.
............................
Gregg White:
I believe that he would fall on his sword for America. Has he?
Silenced:
You'd have to ask his paramour.
Gregg White:
What if there is not one?
Silenced:
You'd have to ask his horse.
............................
heydus:
I blame the hook-up culture. Where's Marcotte?
Silenced:
All the NH Congressionals and the Governor are wimmins! It's the Apocalypse!
TheDude:
That's a good angle. Petraeus is being punished for being sex positive.
Stellla:
Heck, where's Barrow?
Silenced:
Huffing Aqua Net and reading soulful essays on hookingupsmart.com?
Brandon:
I blame gay marriage.
Brandon:
Also single women.
M:
And don't forget to blame Santa Claus.
TheDude:
Back off of Santa Claus, Christmas is only a few weeks away. Besides, if any fictional character is at fault, it is Big Bird.
M:
You gonna stuff Big Bird for the big high school football celebration, or are you going Tofurkey?
Silenced:
"When I tried tofurkey, ye rejected me!"
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