When I die - by Tim Torkildson

When I die 

- by Tim Torkildson * -

Subject: "New York Times headline: 'A Lonely End for South Koreans Who Cannot Afford to Live, or Die.' "

I want a real big funeral, the biggest you can buy,
With mourners paid good money just to sit around and cry.
I want my casket to appear made out of gold and gems.
The whole shebang should happen on a yacht upon the Thames.
The food and drink will be superb, and flowers will abound.
Please spend a modest fortune as you put me in the ground.
Scatter coins and candy as the hearse moves on its way.
It should be done like a parade, as on a holiday.

And when the bill comes due, I hope you'll like my little joke,
Because, you see, I'm gonna die just absolutely broke!
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*[Bulletin Board, St. Paul Pioneer Press, November 11, 2015]
 

 

Every crab for himself! - by Jim Toomey (Sherman's Lagoon)

Every crab for himself!
by Jim Toomey
("Sherman’s Lagoon") *
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November 10,2015

* Sherman’s Lagoon is a comic strip set in an imaginary lagoon inhabited by a cast of sea creatures whose lives are curiously similar to our own.