Meet Little Larry - by Anonymous

 Meet Little Larry!

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by Anonymous

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”

After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.

The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Larry?”

“No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

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Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.

 “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

“What's the matter,” asked Larry, “Giving up?”

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The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”

Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”

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Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

 “Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”

Larry asked, “Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?”

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Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”

His father replied, “Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”

Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom...”

__________________________The End.

"I'm Dreaming of a ..." - by Randy Newman

"I'm Dreaming of a White President"

(a political and satirical song)

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by Randy Newman

Excerpts fron Randy Newman's Interview with SLATE
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[on the satirical song]
Slate: You’ve said that one thing that inspired you to write this song is the thought that, “there are a lot of people who don’t want a black person in the White House and they want him out.” To put it bluntly, how do you know?

Newman: Well, I don’t know, partly because no one, and I mean no one, would admit feeling that way. Still, it’s clear that there are lots of people out there who are uncomfortable. The Civil War was a long time ago but there are aspects of it that remain unsettled, I think. Early on in Obama’s term, there was heat generated by issues that you wouldn’t think would cause such passion. Even the term “Obamacare,” the way it’s spit out, like he was some kind of witch doctor. Maybe I’m overly sensitive to the issue, but I don’t think so. There’s an edge to things that normally wouldn’t have an edge. I thought it was a little extra.

Slate: Did you have Irving Berlin and Bing Crosby in mind when you were writing the song?

Newman: Not them specifically, but maybe the America they represent. Oddly enough, I did a version of Faust years ago, and the vision of God I had in my mind was George Romney. He looks like what God would look like to me. That wide-open, beautiful face. That’s what I see when I picture him. The idea was that the devil always worked real hard and the Lord always beat him, and he just couldn’t understand it. And Romney is the guy I had in mind for that. He just looks so great.

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[On race and racism]
Slate: ..., it seems that you and a few of your colleagues are getting pretty fed up. Is this a trend?

Newman: I’m not sure about a trend, but for me it’s a reaction to the Republican Party, which seems to have drifted farther to the right than a major party has drifted in my lifetime in any direction. It seems to have become almost a radical party. The hate and… I don’t think it’ll last. That kind of thing doesn’t seem to last.

Slate: You’re releasing “I’m Dreaming” free of charge, but you’re encouraging listeners to donate to the United Negro College Fund. Why that particular cause?

Newman: I have some concern that kids will hear this and think, “What is he talking about?” If you have a kid and you try irony out on them, they don’t get it at 7, 8 years old. “What do you mean, you’re dreaming of a white president?” It’s a problem. You can’t really hide the Internet from kids. It worries me some particularly because I’ve done Disney and Pixar stuff.  

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