Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
A religion that takes no account of practical affairs and does not help to solve them is no religion.
An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
George Bernard Shaw
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
Old men are dangerous: it doesn't matter to them what is going to happen to the world.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Force always attracts men of low morality.
Information is not knowledge.
Change is inevitable. Change is constant.
How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.
The secret of success is to be ready when your opportunity comes.
Man only likes to count his troubles, but he does not count his joys.
The formula 'Two and two make five' is not without its attractions.
To live without Hope is to cease to live.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him.
A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
All the arguments which are brought to represent poverty as no evil show it evidently to be a great evil.
Books, like friends, should be few and well-chosen.
Disease generally begins that equality which death completes.
He that undervalues himself will undervalue others, and he that undervalues others will oppress them.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other.
It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time.
Man alone is born crying, lives complaining, and dies disappointed.
Poetry is the art of uniting pleasure with truth.
Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
What is easy is seldom excellent.
When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.