How to Hit the Powerball - by Tim Torkildson

How to Hit the Powerball *

(a sure-fire formula, Guaranteed!)

- by Tim Torkildson -

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I aim to hit the Powerball just once in my short span;
and I have got a logical and foolproof master plan.

First I take my birth date and divide it by 16,
then I add that number to the price of Ovaltine.

Next I take the license plate of any car I pass
and multiply it by the days until I mow my grass.

Finally I cast my horoscope with a hand of Uno,
and divide it by the temperature up there in snowy Juneau.
I come up with a number that is guaranteed to win,
and write it down upon a piece of certified buckskin.
I’ll share my system with you for a negligible fee
(since I have been quite broke since back in ’63…).
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*Bulletin Board, Saint Paul Pioneer Press, October 2, 2016