By Rod Miller
Stranded, I was, in some cow town,
Out of work and down on my luck;
No way to pay for my next meal
With my finances at less than a buck
When a man drove up in a pickup truck,
Said he was looking for a worker to hire.
Hauled me off to the middle of nowhere;
Dumped me out next to a campfire.
I'd just settled in for a good night's sleep
To rest up for the coming day's work
When hell broke loose with a vengeance
And awakened me with a jerk.
Get up you waddy! some guy hollered,
Can't ya hear coosie a-callin'?
Haul yerself out of them sougans!
Roll up that hen-skin and paulin!
Put on a load of Mexican strawberries
An' some sinkers to line yer flue,
Then grab a kak and come on back
And I'll tell ya what you're to do.
Rattle yer hocks down to the cavvy
An' with a reata snag a cayuse,
Then light out into the brasada
And chouse any critters that's loose.
I stammered at the man, dumbfounded.
He said, There ain't no time fer palaver!
If ya wanna be a ranahan
Get forked and get out on the gather!
Well, I resigned my position on the spot,
Mind reeling and spirit broken-
Starving's easier than working a job
Where English isn't spoken.
Copyright © 1998 Rod Miller.
(*) E.S.L = English as a second language.