"No Little Things" - by Naftali Reich

"No Little Things"
- by Naftali Reich * -
=============

What is the image that comes to mind when we think of the ideal national leader? Someone who has a grasp of the issues, who can see the big picture. Someone who is strong and courageous, who can hold his own in the arena of international affairs in times of war and peace. Someone who has a vision for the future and the ability to make it happen. Someone who, through his words and actions, can inspire and galvanize his people.

[But] what is [a leader's] qualification for leadership? That he is attuned to the spirit of each and every individual [citizen].

And the overriding quality required of a leader ...
It is not enough for a leader to have grand schemes and plans. It is not enough for a leader to deliver soul-stirring addresses to the people. A leader must be able to relate to his people on every level. He must be sensitive to their needs and aspiration. He must empathize with their pain and joy. A true leader cannot stand off in the distance. He must be thoroughly attuned to the most minor requirements of his people in order to lead effectively. For a true leader, there are no little things.
_____________________________________________________ 
* Rabbi Naftali Reich, "No little Things", www.torah.org/legacy 7/14/2008

 

Fate and Choices - by Hénock Gugsa

Fate and Choices

- by Hénock Gugsa -
==== ~~ ====

But acknowledging something "has been dealt to you" is the same as validating the reality of "Fate" (some superimposed external power). It follows then that you should not presume you are powerful because you have been given basically only two choices to begin with: Yes (acceptance) ... or ...  No (rejection).

It is the same idea as when we deal with problems (situations) in computer science using flow charts. The initial statement or question is made, and everything flows from there. As humans, I believe we are dealt the initial cards (Fate) and everything that follows is based on our decisions (Choices) ... and they, in turn, engender further choices. The path we take is a series of connected choices. It can be short and definitive, or it can be long, winding, and indeterminate.

In my opinion, we make a big deal about the choices we make when in reality we have only made one choice. In essence, from the start, we did not really have that much of a power over our choices. The big question then becomes: Do we have the power of knowledge to make the right choice in the beginning? As for the subsequent mini-choices, if we go wrong, it may be possible to correct them, and move on to the next levels.  However, in the long run, as John Maynard Keynes said, we will all be dead!

What is "normal"? - by Dr. Gabor Maté

What is "normal"? 

- by Dr. Gabor Maté -

 

The Purist - by Ogden Nash

The Purist
- by Ogden Nash -
================== 
I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile." 

 

My Ancestry - by Hénock Gugsa

My Ancestry 
(as told to me by my father, Gugsa Asta!)

- by Hénock Gugsa -

=====//======

Legend has it that a tribesman traveled from Zula, an ancestral town in eastern Eritrea, to a place called Adi-Abo which was located in the southwest, in the region known as Tigray.  When he got there, he settled down, got married, and began to prosper.  Soon he became quite wealthy, and achieved a respectable status in the community.  However, he and his wife were childless, and so he was not as content with his life as could be expected.

As it happened, there lived in that town a sorcerer who was quite reputable in his wisdom and extra-sensory powers.  So, the wealthy but childless man decided to go and consult with him for a solution to his problem.

"Why can I not have any children?  Can you give me some medicine to help me and my wife be fruitful?" He begged.

The sorcerer replied, "You must understand that your destiny is unique.  The only offspring you will have is from a lioness."

"But a lioness is a mighty ferocious, and wild creature.  How is it even possible to approach a lioness, let alone procreate with her?"

"Follow my instructions to the letter, and you will succeed in this mission, fear not!"  The sorcerer commanded.

He then told the man where he would find the particular lioness that was destined to give him offspring.  The lioness had a favorite watering spot at a little clearing near a hillside from whence a stream flowed.  The man was to go to that place when the lioness wasn't there, and he was to build a dam and divert the stream in another direction.  Then at the exact spot where the lioness drank, he was to place a large vat filled with mead.  When the lioness came to the spot as usual, she would not find water there ... and because she would be mightily thirsty, she would be forced to drink the potent mead.  When sated, she would head back to her lair for her evening siesta.  The mead was bound to overcome her, and she would fall into a deep slumber.  That would be the time for the man to show his intrepid side, and give her his seed. 

Then would come a waiting period when the man would have to stalk the lioness from a distance and see how she was progressing along.  Not too long after she had given birth to a daughter and three sons as predicted by the sorcerer, the proud father was to repeat the same crafty deception with the mead and get the lioness intoxicated again.  He would then kidnap the four infants with the help of an assistant that the sorcerer had provided.  Additionally, the sorcerer emphasized that they should make sure they stayed downwind from the lioness at all times during their escape.  That way, her eventual search and pursuit of the kidnappers and her babies would be thwarted.

Following the successful daredevil deed, the man and his offspring left Adi-Abo and returned to Eritrea.  The man stopped and settled in Hatsenna in order to raise his children.  When the children were grown, he first saw to it that his daughter got married and made her home there.  When that was accomplished, the man and his three sons were off and on the road again. 

At long last, the man finally made his home in the place we now call Asmara.  One of his sons, Asmael, stayed there with his father, and they both settled down for good.  Asmael became the patriarch of all the people that lived in that region.  And in time, the town, Asmara, was named after him.

As for the other two sons, they left their father and brother behind and headed east toward Zula.  But midway, the second son whose name was Jenn-Alle decided to veer a little bit to the south toward Adi Keyh (the Red Land).  When he reached Berhenet-Arett, he stopped and this became his home.  Jenn-Alle is our ancestor, and his blood still runs in our family!

Tekle-Semaat, the third son, continued on to Zula.  He settled there and had many offspring.  We believe his descendants, our cousins,  are still there.
/// === \\\    

(Please click on map to enlarge)     

"I'll make it up as I go" - by Diana Krall

"I'll make it up as I go" 

- by Diana Krall -

A smokey, bluesy, jazzy song -- appropriate for this political season ....

From: "The Philosopher’s Stone" - by Hans Christian Andersen

 

From:  "The Philosopher’s Stone"
- by Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875) - 
=============================
Now she heard the following words sadly sung,—
“Life is a shadow that flits away
In a night of darkness and woe.”

But then would follow brighter thoughts:
“Life has the rose’s sweet perfume
With sunshine, light, and joy.”

And if one stanza sounded painfully—
“Each mortal thinks of himself alone,
Is a truth, alas, too clearly known;”

Then, on the other hand, came the answer—
“Love, like a mighty flowing stream,
Fills every heart with its radiant gleam.”

She heard, indeed, such words as these—
“In the pretty turmoil here below,
All is a vain and paltry show.”

Then came also words of comfort—
“Great and good are the actions done
By many whose worth is never known.”

And if sometimes the mocking strain reached her—
“Why not join in the jesting cry
That contemns all gifts from the throne on high?”

In the blind girl’s heart a stronger voice repeated—
“To trust in thyself and God is best,
In His holy will forever to rest.”

But the evil spirit could not see this and remain contented.

In response to Giuliani - by Hénock Gugsa

In response to Giuliani
- by Hénock Gugsa -
~~~~~~ // ~~~~~~ [Rudy Giuliani on FOX News: "When they come to save your life, they don't ask if you are black or white, they just come to save you!"  Rudy Giuliani thanked all the police officers who are out protecting us [sic] ....]

But that is their job! And that is what we expect them to do ... to do their job!

The police are public servants, they are expected to serve and to protect.  Neither they nor we should expect them to do any more or any less than their duty.  We  of-course love and care for them as members of the community .... They should be (and are) well compensated.  They should be well-equipped and trained to do their duties just as the military does with one difference.  The police are a civilian force which means that they are civilians and should not have a battle (war) mentality!

There is also one other aspect of our relationship with the police that is often overlooked or hardly ever mentioned.  It is the covenant of trust that we have laid at the feet of the police.  They are bestowed all the power and privileges of the "law enforcer."  Naturally, we expect policemen to carry out the delicate task of the day-to-day application of the law in people's lives.  Most importantly,  we entrust the police with the protection of our lives, our property, and our human rights.  We expect the highest standards of unwavering moral conduct, and we expect responsible, respectful behavior from our policemen.  These are the actual job requirements of the police.  If it is deemed that they cannot be met, that we are asking too much of the police, then maybe these folk need to find other softer or cushier positions like, for example, the clergy. 

Here is a look why the police should not demand respect and special thanks just for doing their jobs ....  Think of your mom and dad ... you expect them to love, protect, and nurture you ... but you don't expect them to do all that because they expect you to thank them.  They're doing their duty and your happiness and welfare is their only reward!

The work that policemen do should not be looked at collectively, but individually.  We should assess a policeman by his record, not just by the fact that he is wearing a blue uniform.  Let us give the police special honor and thanks following a job performance review just like every citizen in the country.  To do otherwise is to invite hubris and abusive behavior from folk whom we have given the highest honor of our trust. 

Depressed! - by Hénock Gugsa

Depressed! 

- by Hénock Gugsa -

I went to church this morning; and when the service was over, I found myself depressed by two things that had happened ... ====>
 
1 - During the sermon, the pastor brought up the topic of the recent social turmoil here regarding police killings of young black men.  The pastor actually began his comment with,  "All lives matter and it saddens us that ...".  I was almost tempted to raise my hand and object, but I restrained myself.  How can he not comprehend that when people have been crying in anguish that "Black lives matter!", there is a contextual (unsaid but understood) reference to inclusion, as if saying 'black lives matter too' ... don't forget us.  Why do things have to be spelled out to people?  Where is your comprehension of language? 
Also, and above all, why are people so reactionary and so defensive?  Why are they so dismissive, and why do they egregiously trivialize the serious concerns of a group with legitimate grievances?!
 
2 - During the "Peace" greetings of the congregants to one another, I shook hands with an old lady who said to me, "Are you a visitor?"  I started to say that I wasn't because I have been there once before.  But then I replied, "Yes."  However, I got neither a "Peace to you,"  nor a "Welcome." ....  Walking home, I thought why should things be this way?  Isn't a church a house of God where everyone is automatically and unquestionably welcome to worship?  Or is God approachable only exclusively to regular congregants?  Is God a bartender?!
-------------------------------------------
Phisshh ... I am so depressed!!

Stirring Photo - by Osman Sagirli

Stirring Photo 

- by Osman Sagirli -

Little girl surrenders when she mistakes camera for gun!
 
Turkish photojournalist Osman Sagirli took the picture. 

The four-year-old girl, Adi Hudea, was at the Atmeh refugee camp in Syria in December 2014. 

The Police State - by Hénock Gugsa

 

The Police State
- by Hénock Gugsa -
====== *** ====== I'm sitting here wondering what next ... I am utterly confused.  Are we in Israel fighting Palestinians?

These days, the Police everywhere in America are actually militarized over and above what has been the norm for years.  They have nightsticks, tasers, Glocks, sniper-rifles (with scopes), shotguns, bullet-proof vests, night-vision goggles, mob-controlling shields, etc., etc. .... And now we are adding "Killer Robots"!!!

And don't forget: The police are presumed to have received thorough training in all aspects of stressful confrontations including proper application of force.  Cops are expected to have and to display mental and physical fortitude.  They are supposed to be well-equipped in every way.

Nonetheless, one wonders: Are the police protected enough?!  What more should be done to lessen their fear of the public that they are supposed to serve and protect?

Is all their armament sufficient or necessary to cope with single life-and-death situations?  Or is it needed to impose and perpetuate a permanent siege mentality? 

I don't know about you, but I sure don't feel particularly well-protected or served.

 

The Blunderbuss Effect - by TPO

The Blunderbuss Effect

- by TPO -

~~~~~~~ // ~~~~~~~

** From: Epoch Times
===================
7:25 a.m. (July 8, 2016)

A man wrongly identified by Dallas police as a suspect in a sniper attack on police says he turned himself in and was quickly released.

The Dallas Police Department [had] put out a photo on its Twitter account late Thursday of a man wearing a camouflage shirt and holding a rifle with the message: “This is one of our suspects. Please help us find him!” The tweet remained on the account early Friday morning.

The man in the photo, Mark Hughes, tells Dallas TV station KTVT that he “flagged down a police officer” immediately after finding out he was a suspect. He says police lied during a 30-minute interrogation, telling him they had video of him shooting.

Videos posted online show Hughes walking around peacefully during the shooting and later turning over his gun to a police officer.  

The Cause of All His Troubles - by Life Lessons

The Cause of All His Troubles 

- by Life Lessons -

A man woke up one morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night.  He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.

He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.

He smashed the first bottle swearing, "You are the reason I fight with my wife!"

He smashed the second bottle ... "You are the reason I don't love my children!"

He smashed the third bottle ... "You are the reason I don't have a decent job!"

When he got to the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still full and well sealed .... He hesitated for only a moment and said, "You stand aside, I know you were not involved."

The Replacement Priest - by Unknown

 

The Replacement Priest
- by Unknown -
~~~~~~~~ /// ~~~~~~~~ A priest was being summoned temporarily to another town on an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to come and cover for him.

The rabbi pointed out that he wouldn't know what to say in a confessional, but the priest was very persuasive. He convinced the rabbi that he would show him the basics of a priest's work in the confession booth.

The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional.

After a few minutes a woman enters and says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asks, "What did you do?" 
The woman says, "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?" 
Woman: "Three times." 
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do?"
Man: "I committed adultery."
Priest: “How many times?" 
Man: "Three times." 
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it, so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Rabbi: "What did you do?"
Woman: "I committed adultery."
Rabbi: "How many times?"
Woman: "Once."
Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."

BREXIT! ===> You breaks it ... you owns it! - by Hénock Gugsa

Click to enlarge figure

BREXIT! ===> You breaks it ... you owns it! 

- by Hénock Gugsa -

Breaking away?! .... I am wondering if there is or not an universal truth or finality to such a decision in Britain. 

It is indeed a reflection of Britain's isolationist mood.  Furthermore, there are going to be ripple effects both in England and globally.  The big question is:  Could this stupidity be reversed? .... 

On another deeper, local, and demographic level, could there be a more serious rift between the old and the young? 

I stand with the youth.  The old are selfish and think of themselves more than of the youth's future.  

"The Good Old Days!" - according to DT

 

"The Good Old Days!" 

- according to Donald Trump -

(thru the good graces of Marianne DeMarco)

~~~~~~~ *** ~~~~~~~

Unnecessary and Pointless Strife - by Hénock Gugsa

Unnecessary and Pointless Strife

- by Hénock Gugsa -

   “It’s not a favorable time to be a black, Muslim, Somali immigrant.”

      -- Jamal Abdulahi, who has lived in Minnesota for more than 20 years. --
 =====================//=======================

** A rather inane,and weaselly thing to say!
Why doesn't he just say "a Somali-American"?  After-all, he knows as well as the rest of us that 99.99% of Somalis in the U.S. are black , Muslim, and immigrants.  We also know that the Somali community is not trying very hard to improve its image.  Sadly, we hear that a Somali undercover terrorist informant had to be paid a six-figure amount to assist in catching terrorist plotters here in Minnesota.  Shameful!  Where is the American patriotism or the simple, unconditional love and appreciation for America?  Where is common decency, where is duty, and where is honor? **

Facebook conversation between MG and Hénock Gugsa follows ....
==================================================

MG ===> I think I must have missed a conversation somewhere.
----------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa ===> Here's the latest info on the court case against 3 Somali youth: www.mprnews.org/story/2016/06/03/isis-trial-minnesota-men-verdict 
/// 3 Minnesota men found guilty of plotting to join ISIS [mprnews.org|By Laura Yuen]
----------------------------------------------
MG ===> They have very sad eyes. I don't know what to make of this. What are your thoughts Hénock?
----------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa ===> I have lived here in Minnesota a cumulative of over 30 years. There is a diversity of communities and cultures living and prospering in this wonderful, liberal, and most generous State. Most of the communities are law-abiding citizens who meticulously keep a low profile, or if you hear about them, it is mostly in good light. The same cannot be said for the Somalis, and they have not only alienated themselves but have alienated others against them. Living in tight small communities separate from the main (host) society, not assimilating well, and getting in skirmishes with the law does not help. In my opinion, Somalis give immigrants a bad name with their arrogance and their aggressiveness. Am I prejudiced? I don't know, but I have known Somalis a long time even before I came here (back in Ethiopia). But you have to make your own assessment thru the writings and history out there (good and bad).
----------------------------------------------
MG ===> What are you thoughts about the "lost boys"?
----------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa ===> That is a totally wonderful and inspiring tale of Sudanese boys who trekked long and arduous miles to safety .... 1-) They were a family or members of an extended family. 2-) They are non-militant, peace-loving Christians. 3-) They have assimilated very well and have deserved all the respect and accolades bestowed upon them.
----------------------------------------------
MG ===> Why are the Somali kids so troubled?
----------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa ===> That is a mystery to me.
======================================  

Gun Madness - by G B (on Facebbok)

           

The madness about AR-15s
- by - G B  (Facebook- June 14, 2016 - Portland, OR)
==========================================
Today I went to my local gun store (US Guns, 9063 SW Barbour Blvd.) to ask about AR-15 guns. I didn't go in to berate, but to try to understand why a store would sell such weapons. The two young guys in the store were understandably jittery but tried to answer my questions.

ME: I'm trying to learn more about the AR-15 and why an ordinary citizen would want one. I already know that the AR does not stand for "assault rifle" or "automatic rifle" but for ArmaLite, the company that developed it.

CLERK at US Guns: Most people use them to shoot cans and stuff.

ME: You'd have to be a very bad shot to need that kind of gun to shoot cans. I did just fine with my BB gun and my dad's 30-06 deer hunting rifle. I didn't need 45 rounds per minute.

CLERK #2: They are good for shooting coyotes and ground hogs because those little suckers really move fast.

ME: It seems that the AR rifles are nearly all you have here, except for the hand guns.

CLERK: Yes, they are our most popular.

ME: But surely everyone isn't buying them to hunt coyotes, ground hogs, and tin cans.

CLERK #2: They are good for wild pigs in Texas. They're a real problem in some parts there.

ME: But we don't have wild pigs in Portland. Why do people in Portland buy these types of guns?

CLERK: Well, some are for protecting their families and property.

ME: Protecting them from whom?

CLERK: I don't know, that's just what they say.

ME: Have you ever had someone you love killed by a gun, and I don't mean while hunting rabbits?

CLERK: No

ME: I have. You are young, and the older you get the more likely you are to lose a loved one. Whether you think they are killed by a gun or a person you will discover they are dead. What would happen if you stopped selling AR rifles?

BOTH CLERKS: We'd be out of business.

ME: So it's about the money.

CLERK: Yeah.

ME: I ask you to reconsider and to stop selling these guns. Thank you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And I left. But wait, there's more ....
Part II
As I headed to my car I was approached by a guy who was in the store and followed me out.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUY: They are lying. They sell the guns to people to protect themselves when "they" come?

ME: Who is "they," zombies?

GUY: Yeah, that and all the others who might try to steal your food after an earthquake or take your guns or imprison your family members.

ME: Is that something that really concerns you?

GUY: Yeah, with the way the country has been going the last 7 years. . .

ME: You mean since we got a black president?

GUY: Well, not just that but look at all the Muslims and immigrants streaming across the border to get us. I have six ARs, and plenty of ammunition.

ME: But you can only shoot one gun at a time.

GUY: But I bet I feel lots safer than you do.

ME: No, I'm not afraid of hoards of zombies, Blacks, Mexicans, or Muslims coming after me and my family. I'm more afraid of going out dancing, or to church, or the movies, or school.

GUY: Nah, those are pretty safe places.
=========================================================
I drove away proud that I hadn't screamed at anyone, but just asked questions, hoping I would learn something. I did, and it made me cry a bit as I drove home.

I thought of my friend John, a husband and father, who was depressed about school and couldn't buy beer in Utah because it was Sunday, so he bought a gun and shot himself.

I thought of my daughter, who wanted to clean the carpets but was turned away because she was wasn't old enough to rent a Rug Doctor. But she was old enough to have bought a gun if she wanted.

There is something very wrong here and the only way it will get fixed is if we all get off our butts and do something about it. Everyone start by finding your neighborhood gun store and go in and ask questions. Challenge them a bit to think about it and to come clean with the real reasons for these guns. It has nothing to do with the Second Amendment. It has to do with the money they make from paranoid people, made even more paranoid by the NRA. We all have a gun story. Tell them your story and ask them to stop selling AR guns. They probably won't, but you will have made them think about it.

La compassion et la foi sont suprêmes ici! - par TPO

La compassion et la foi sont suprêmes ici! 

- par TPO -

Père Pedro et l’Association AKAMASOA à Madagascar ! ========================================== *** Christianity's main concern is (and always ought to be) the poverty and the destitution of children. Père Pedro is the Lazarist miracle worker whose faith and whose drive has helped the Malagash poor extricate themselves out of misery. Give me one Père Pedro for a hundred Billy Grahams any day!! ***

A Facebook Exchange - by Hénock Gugsa

In response to WZ's Facebook post (thread) of 5/20/16 titled: 

"all right, losing "friends" who must be H Rotten supporters"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ // ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. DB :>  Real friends share the same principles as you do.   Anyone voting for that @#%&! [Hillary Clinton] obviously do not. F@*k 'em [sic]. You're better off without them anyway.
--------------------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa :> "Real friends" don't have to agree with you all of the time, but they should stand up for your right to be different from them at times. Also, true friends don't judge ... instead, they strive to understand!
--------------------------------------------------------
Mr. DB :> I didn't say they have to agree with you on everything. You obviously don't understand what I said. I said they have to have the same PRINCIPLES as you do. I couldn't be friends with people who don't share my BASIC PRINCIPLES, and neither could anyone else. This isn't about what kind of music someone likes or what kind of food is their favorite, it's about the very foundation of how you view cheating, corruption, lying, abuse of power, and other things that aren't (or shouldn't be) negotiable in people. That's what I said, that's what I meant. And for the record, I'm pretty sure Wynne understood.
---------------------------------------------------------
Mr. DB :> BTW, people "judge" all the time. If you didn't, you'd be friends with literally everyone! I don't like everyone! Neither does anyone else. That's a fact among ALL creatures. That's why some people have "poor judgement" and other have "good judgement". There's a difference between realizing that some people are bad for you, and being UNFAIRLY judgmental within your circle of friends.
---------------------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa :> It's true some people are bad for you. They could be even worse ... they could even be toxic to you. Thank you for your clarifications, I am in agreement with you on your initial post above. I was really questioning why such people were labelled "friends" to begin with. As you know, many people here on FB compile hundreds of "friends" over time. I don't think people do any serious vetting when they make "friends" here on FB. The term is used too lightly here on FB! Yes, people do "judge" people all the time, and that is unfortunate ... and I'm saying that those that judge you are not "real friends" to begin with. So, in the end you and I are on the same page, I hope.
---------------------------------------------------------
Mr. DB :> I agree about FB. When I first got on, I was naïve as well and let too many people on. Now, I'm in the position of having to get rid of people who I never hear from, whom I don't know and haven't talked to, who don't ever respond to my posts, or post questionable or downright horrible things to their page. I was hoping you'd understand that I meant the difference between UNFAIRLY judging someone and FAIRLY judging them based on what they've shown you to be.  And I'm glad that you do that, or else you'd be in a lot of danger, here and in the real world.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hénock Gugsa :> True. There is indeed real danger here [on FB] !!!
======================================================
SUMMATION ===> As you may have observed, Mr. DB appears to be a highly-strung, opinionated, and harshly judgmental type of person.  I do not see much compassion or tolerance (understanding) in his words.  I had to employ a lot of patience and diplomacy, and it was difficult getting my point across.  What's more, he was taking everything I said personally, and he was defensive to the end.  Since my efforts to sway Mr. DB from being judgmental obviously failed, I had to try to get him to understand what "true (real) friendship" means.  I don't think that I succeeded in that either.  I am now wondering how he would have reacted if I had said to him: "Judge not lest ye be judged."