Rambunctious Readers of Slate Magazine - by TPO

  Some rowdy readers' comments on ...
" CIA Director David Petraeus Resigns Over Extramarital Affair. "
by Josh Voorhes, Slate.com (posted 11/09/2012)   

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DANIEL:
Well, since the trusty old "hiking the Appalachian Trail" excuse has already been burned (thanks a lot, Sanford), there was really no other choice but to come clean.

Otto:
One of the more colorful euphemisms for doing the deed.

cookindad:
It takes months to hike the Appalachian trail.

Otto:
If you're doing it right?

cookindad:
If you're doing it wrong it only takes a few minutes.
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Silenced:
Does the Trail really want to be hiked, though? I suppose it's important to come clean.

Gregg White:
Hm. Razor blades on the trail. Be careful, everybody.

Silenced:
Hot wax, too.

Gregg White:
Safer and a little erotic to some.

Tradecraft:
If it doesn't want to be hiked, perhaps the trespass is "legitimate." If so, then there's nothing to worry about. The trail will take care of itself.
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Guest:
Petraeus is a very ugly man. Which means that if he's having an affair at his age, it's all about the power. The same is true for Spitzer, who is also a very ugly man. The problem is not the sex, it's the abuse of power.

Gregg White:
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Tradecraft:
And your problem is judging people as "ugly."

jamlars:
He could give Prince Charles a run for his money.

Mitbert Strangejoy:
If he was having an affair at a different age, would it be all high-fives or something? I'm missing the age angle.

Silenced:
As an ugly man I...
*weeps*

Otto:
Look on the bright side. As an ugly man, apparently you've got power.

Silenced:
Pardon me while I go oppress the downtrodden for a while. They seem to expect it.

Wade Wilson:
HELP HELP!
I'm bein' repressed!

Otto:
If only.

Tradecraft:
You aren't "ugly," Silenced. You're a beautiful human being. Especially when you aren't oppressing the downtrodden.
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Gregg White:
I believe that he would fall on his sword for America. Has he?

Silenced:
You'd have to ask his paramour.

Gregg White:
What if there is not one?

Silenced:
You'd have to ask his horse.
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heydus:
I blame the hook-up culture. Where's Marcotte?

Silenced:
All the NH Congressionals and the Governor are wimmins! It's the Apocalypse!

TheDude:
That's a good angle. Petraeus is being punished for being sex positive.

Stellla:
Heck, where's Barrow?

Silenced:
Huffing Aqua Net and reading soulful essays on hookingupsmart.com?

Brandon:
I blame gay marriage.

Brandon:
Also single women.

M:
And don't forget to blame Santa Claus.

TheDude:
Back off of Santa Claus, Christmas is only a few weeks away.  Besides, if any fictional character is at fault, it is Big Bird.

M:
You gonna stuff Big Bird for the big high school football celebration, or are you going Tofurkey?

Silenced:
"When I tried tofurkey, ye rejected me!"